Pssst! Hey Kid! Smarties! Fifty Cents a Pack!

Cicero, over at To the People, reminds us of yet another stunt the government childrens' prisons are initiating to avoid actually having to teach anything. I've been hearing a quite a bit, over the past few months, about yet another war.

One might think we're involved in enough wars at present, most of them both stupid and futile, without having to start yet another.

Cicero points us to an article that shows what some childrens' prison administrations are doing and planning--in part at the behest of the feral government. Yes, that George W Bush.

Now. Let me tell you, mes enfants, how it's gonna be.

When I was a kid, it was squirtguns. We wanted to have water fights at every opportunity, and the screws were constantly looking for the squirtguns to confiscate them. There was no end to the inentive ways we had of concealing these weapons, to be drawn and fired at any opportunity.

It'll start with recloseable plastic bottles of soda in their backpacks, along with candy bars and potato chips. Prison officials will counter by having random backpack searches. Older brothers will hand candy through the chain-link to kids in the yard, and these kids, in turn, will sell candy to their hungry classmates. We'll see children concealing candy bits in their clothing.

Janitors will find tofu smeared onto the undersides of the tables and vegetable medleys clogging the drinking fountain drains. Rival smuggling gangs will evolve, and there'll be fights over who can sell candy to whom. The more enthusiastic of the screws will discover flops of steaming broccoli in their desks and soured milk in the coffee pourers in their staff rooms.

Gang members will unplug the drink machines to leave the drinks unchilled.

It could get nasty. Fruit and vegetables in the cafeteria could be destroyed or contaminated. Childrens' prison officials could call for a no sweets zone within a mile of every prison. Daily universal strip-searches could become the daily routine. Punishment for possession, smuggling, and attempts to sell illicit confections could include felony punishment and mandatory minimum sentences.

Meanwhile, the teaching of academic subjects would suffer and eventually cease, as enforcement efforts take up more and more time.

Youngsters would graduate, not only unable to read and work basic arithmetic, but looking like Auschwitz survivors.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California