Priscilla the Knife

More years ago than can be counted on both your fingers and toes and mine, I was an elementary school student at West Elementary School in Grand Forks, North Dakota. Admittedly, it was a different time, but the principles involved are the same. The stated goal of the government children's prison system is to help parents prepare youngsters to be able to function as adults in the real world. Today, the children's prisons are failing--not only by ineptitude, but by conscious intent. They are trying to make herd animals out of our youth!

I'm not sure they weren't already working in that direction in my skool daze; after all, most people my age are eight-hour-a-day wage slaves just as are those graduating colleges today. Seems like many of the high-profile successes 'bout whom we read in the business journals and society gossip pages got where they are after slipping the yoke in their own youth.

Now, I like what I do, and actually look forward to going to work most days, but sometimes I wonder why I'm not a movie studio executive or a famous writer or a crocodile hunter. Well, with age comes wisdom, and I finally realized that my difficulty is that I've always been afraid to take risks regarding my livelihood. Fact of life. Now, I have to ponder the question of whether it's too late to change.

But, I'm wandering away from the subject: the abominable and purposeful failure of the government children's prison system, and its stubborn and deliberate inability to make educated and functional adults out of children. Parents are also failing at their part, as well--they were inmates of children's prisons in their youth.

Yesterday, according to a story on the website of Local 6 News in Orlando, Florida, a ten-year-old girl, an inmate at the Sunrise Elementary School in Ocala, was arrested for having a knife on school property--a felony in Florida. She had a steak knife that she'd brought from home, and was using it to cut her lunch into bite-sized bits.

There was no allegation that she'd used the knife in a threatening manner. She was transported down to Juvie Hall, presumably to be flogged, then stretched on the rack until she admits membership in a pre-teen terrorist organization. Look for a much taller Priscilla if and when she's released (or when her cabal effects an escape for her).

The long-ago time I referenced earlier in this missive saw me and many of my contemporaries carrying knives to school, and everywhere else, routinely. We called them jackknives, and they were often given to boys as Christmas gifts by fathers and uncles. They were a permanent part of our trouser pockets, and we used them to make slingshots and to carve our initials into the bark of trees. As Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts, our jackknives were an indispensable tool, to be used to do the tasks required to earn achievement badges.

I can only assume that young girls learned (in those days) to do Girl Scout things with knives, not to mention to learn to cook and bake under the tutelage of their mothers. And, of course, we all had to learn to handle tableware to dine without taking on the appearance of islamic savages.

What is it this that the Florida Children's Prison System is rejecting? The notion of eating meals like a civilized human being? Will the use of hands next be rejected? I can almost imagine the guards and wardens of the Florida Children's Prison System nodding in approval at the sight of the youngsters bent over the tables, faces in their plates and making snarling and snorting sounds while trying to snarf up gruel at the school cafeteria.

How long until walking upright will be forbidden?

Darwin was wrong. It's Devolution.

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California