Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Chimp Made A Monkey Out Of The Zookeeper

I don't think I ever saw anything so pathetic--or funny--in my life......well maybe, but not recently.

According to a story on, with video having been shown on tv news programs everywhere, a chimp stepped out of his cage, which was left open. This happened in the Ishikawa Zoo in Japan. A zookeeper with a trank dart gum went to subdue the chimp, and this is where everything went wrong.

The zookeeper looked like he's never held (much less fired) a gun of any kind in his entire life. He didn't know how to hold it or aim it. He was afraid to fire it. He didn't have a good grip on it.

Now, believe me when I tell you, this stuff can't be made up. As the venerable Mort Sahl used to say, "The true stuff is the funny stuff."

The wily 42-year-old chimp reached down and took it away from him. The chimp simply dropped it to the ground but I, truth be known, was hoping he'd shoot the stupid zookeeper with it. It'd do the little idiot a lot of good, to take a long enforced nap. Perhaps he'd wake up realizing that he'd better learn how to do his job.

Now, I know Japan has no history of the use of firearms, with the exception of those few years leading up to and including WWII. This fellow is far too young for that.

Perhaps they're having problems with quality in Japan's children's prisons, too.

The inmates are taking over the asylum.

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California


Kent C said...

What happens when you don't have a 'well regulated* militia'. Lol.

*regulated - well trained in the art of arms. Anton Scalia.

Thanks for posting this!


MK said...

Exactly Kent. Funny one CH. Yep, the true ones are the best.

T. F. Stern said...

Maybe it has something to do with their genes. I had an Asian rookie police officer in training; one night we had to search a building and he was holding his pistol as if it were a piece of evidence rather than a weapon to defend himself. It should make you happy to know that he didn't make it off training; however, since he had a degree he was able to join a different department and is now a Lt.

Col. Hogan said...


....And keep and bear means own and carry.

Col. Hogan said...


Mort Sahl is 80 now, but in his prime, he was one of the best. He's kind of a lefty, but more in the JFK tradition, not like today's nasty variety.

In fact, he sort of lost his career over his love of JFK, and his belief that Kennedy was assassinated by either Cuban exiles, the mob or Lyndon Johnson. He wouldn't drop the topic on his tv show, and eventually was canceled.

For his comedy routine, he used to take out a newspaper and read stories and comment. The way he did it kept 'em rolling in the aisles.

Col. Hogan said...


Reminds me of the Lieutenant in the second Dirty Harry movie.

"A man has to know his limitations."

Aurora said...

Great story, Col. It's pretty pathetic when the chimps are smarter than their zookeepers, isn't it? And, as you say, here's the result of a society who have had their guns taken away from them.

Col. Hogan said...


I think it's safe to say that Japan's government children's prisons are every bit as bad as ours--though I've heard they teach math better.