Thursday, July 28, 2005


The Left Wing, Airhead America and Other Hollywood Atrocities

This could be a long list, so I'll try to use a relatively small number of names to keep this readable.

In the spirit of Bernard Goldberg's list of "100 People Who Are Screwing Up America," this is my list of celebrities with whom I'd not view their "art," not listen to them speak, not support their causes, nor even wish to share a salon at a public or private event. Let me hasten to add that it's not very likely that I'd be asked nor even that my name be recognized by any of these fine folks.

Yet.

The reason for this list is that these people, to a man (woman, or other) have said and/or done things so outrageous and offensive, not only to my tender sensibilities, but to any individual who hold the human capacity for rational thought as a positive good, that one can't look at them, listen to them in the performance of their art, without seeing them in the full flowering of their idiocy.

Here goes, in no particular order except as they come to mind:

1. Alec Baldwin--"If George Bush gets elected, I'm leaving the country." The bad news: he didn't leave.

2. Barbra Streisand -- Same reason, plus her many inane political pronouncements. She appears to have no idea what she's talking about. If she does know, that's even worse!

3. Lou Reed -- A communist. A singer who can't sing. Good lyrics sometimes, though.

4. Janeane Garafalo -- One of the more intelligent sounding socialists, but she's almost always wrong.

5. Martin Sheen -- After some of the horribly misguided causes he's supported, he's simply not believable playing the President--even a Democrat!

6. Cameron Diaz -- Is convincing in the role of a complete airhead--otherwise, don't call us.

7. John Cougar Mellencamp -- When GHW Bush wanted to use "Little Pink Houses" as a campaign song, Mellencamp (you'll always be a Cougar to me!) refused to let him. Call Bush dumb for not knowing it was ironic. Call Mellencamp stupid for not letting him use it--and for writing it in the first place, about ordinary people who live better than ordinary people anywhere else in the world.

8. Julia Roberts -- Another complete airhead, but a very good actress. Can actually play the part of an intelligent woman, if so scripted.

9. Sean Penn -- I liked him better as Spicoli. One of the most utterly humorless actors on stage or screen. At the Oscars, Chris Rock made a joke about the evil and rotund Michael Moore. Penn was the next presenter. When Penn stepped up to speak, he soundly chided Rock for the quip. No sense of humor at all. Rock was funny....then, unlike the rest of the show.

10. Linda Ronstadt-- Very good songbird with a Norwegian name, who became Latina when it came into vogue. She cavorted with Guber Moonbeam, but dropped him quick as he fell from popular favor. Now needs a reinforced stage. Also needs plenty of exit doors for people who walk out of her performances, after the inane things she says.

11. Alan Alda -- Has kept a low profile, for the most part, since M*A*S*H. Played Hawkeye as a bleeding-heart pacifist, especially after M*A*S*H stopped being a comedy. For women's rights. Against men's rights.

12. Chrissie Hinde -- You can actually understand her lyrics, but you wish you couldn't. Best legs in rock 'n' roll; worse sneer. Luddite squared.

13. Jackson Browne -- Speaking of Luddites, he won't be happy until we're all freezing in the dark. Except him, of course. He secretly has a miniature nuclear power plant on his estate.

14. Jane Fonda -- Starred in "Barbarella" and a couple of other vapid movies. Oh yeah, and "Klute." Went to Viet Nam and became a traitor. Married a hippie who spent her money, so she married a rich guy to spend his money. He dumps her; she now needs to get an acting job. Apologizes (sort of) for being a traitor.

15. Richard Gere -- Imagine someone so incredibly stupid as to, a few days after the World Trade Towers were destroyed, in light of the policemen, firemen and the people who happened to be in or near the Towers that disastrous morning, in front of New Yorkers, including policemen and firemen and others, some of whom knew victims of the destruction, admonish New Yorkers to exhibit peace, love and restraint. The booing was so loud that, after the first few words, it was hard to hear what he said. This actor has a very tenuous attachment to the real world.

16. Halle Berry -- A great actress when she wants to be. Her acceptance speech at the Academy awards of 2002 (for an excellent portrayal in the movie Monster) really proved her acting ability. Trying to link her Oscar win to her race rather than to her own ability was as insincere as it was repugnant. It sure looked good, though.

17. Ted Nugent -- Because, for balance, I had to include a conservative. Very good on guns, hunting and self defense, but that "back to nature" crap is way beyond the bucket.

As I ponder these names and the really dumb ideas they espouse, I know I could come up with dozens more of them. The theory might be that rational thought is impossible for the performer who invests so much into essentially emotional work. It's not true, though. I know performers who can actually think. Not many.

Remember, VOTE FOR NO INCUMBENT!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

2 comments:

? said...

very interesting...


got me thinking

The Wine Commonsewer said...

Jackson Browne is a Primadonna spoiled rich kid ex-Rock Star from Sunny Hills whose music, to borrow a phrase from the 1960's, isn't relevant any more. Nor is he. Not to us or to the Gen-Xers or to those coming behind.

We're all old now and we long ago sold our homes in the shade of the freeway to trade up to the 5 bedroom 3 bath in the suburbs. We're not Pretenders we just moved on with our lives.

Funny Stuff Wayne.