Tragedy of the Commons--Malibu Style

Southern California leftists are gnashing their teeth over the fact that the heavily socialized beaches are becoming as violent as prison exercise yards.

News of the strife has been reported daily , the past week or so, of the event at Malibu in which several feral photographers followed popular actor Matthew McConaughey to the beach, at which he planned to do some morning surfing.

Photographs of celebrities of Mr McConaughey's status sell for upwards of $1000 each--often much more. We've all heard of these photographers, called paparazzi (I know not why), following celebrities around in packs, and we've all seen the photos on tv, the net and 'pon the printed page--even if we don't peruse the idiotic tabloid newspapers and magazines at the checkouts of the supermarkets.

The current dust-up, as reported even on the national news, is a result of the fact that dozens of local surfers took umbrage at the intrusion of these very unhip interlopers and expressed their dismay in a number of unsubtle ways. Several cameras were destroyed and a number of individuals were bruised and contused.

Since not all the cameras were destroyed, visual records of the incident are everywhere. Local surfers promise more of the same if these invasions continue; paparazzi clamor for legal intervention.

In 1972, leftist airheads prevailed in convincing not terribly intelligent Californians to approve a referendum called Prop 20, the Coastal Initiative. 55% of those who voted, mostly leftists, hippies, people who want the use of the property of others for free and some beachside property owners who sought advantage by means of cronyism voted for this proposition. People who respect the right to property, a minority, vote against it. Once again, the dumb people prevailed.

But, what did they win? A huge, taxpayer-funded commission and bureaucracy that has a near-absolute stranglehold on all land within 100- to 200-yards of the Stalag California coast (the expropriated territory has since amended numerous times to include anything they can get away with--including entire coastal towns such as San Juan Capistrano). You can't build anything, building, fence or wall, remove or plant a tree in the coastal zone without the approval of the Coastal Commission.

Returning to the beach at Malibu, it's important to mention that among the many other provisions of the referendum is the requirement that public access be provided to all beaches and coastal areas (except, of course, areas the Coastal Commission decrees "off limits" for "environmental" reasons). This has required some property owners, in densely built areas and formerly exclusive beach communities, to lose a slice of the edge of their property to build accessways from the street to the beach for the public. Beaches, you see, are now public property.

Beachfront property owners have absolutely no control over the beaches adjoining their property--which should properly be a part of their owned land--which they'd otherwise maintain and keep neat just as they do the rest of their lot. They could also control the numbers and kinds of visitors to their homes, as do we all. Some could allow public access, as might be their desire, perhaps for a fee to offset maintenance costs.

Mr McConaughey and his friends could surf mostly undisturbed in the Malibu area, on a beach kept private by the residents for the use of themselves and their invited guests--a right they paid for when they bought property in that very exclusive area. They can, and would keep themselves free of the paparazzi, rampaging fans and people they would try to avoid on the street. Rabble like myself, and the many others who have chosen not to live on the beach can, on the one or two days a year when we go there, enjoy beaches in areas made available by their owners for public use.

One could pick a beach on which there are beer and margarita kiosks, or a beach where smoking is allowed, or one where there are no amenities at all. There might even be beaches where fat people in teeny swimsuits aren't allowed--as not to scare the whales. One suggestion is that the reason the occasional whale beaches itself is sexual desire, caused by a sighting of a group of fat chicks sunning themselves.

I find this preferable to the average Stalag California public beach, at which the bathrooms are hideous toxic waste dumps and rarely maintained, if they exist at all, there are no food nor drinks available, or the kiosks seem to be exempt from all cleanliness requirements, and the litter of "No Littering" signs obscures one's view of the waves.

One of the very best examples of The Tragedy of the Commons in Stalag California (and around the world) are public beaches and parks. Next, the California Coastal Commission plans to expropriate land near the Colorado River and Lake Tahoe.

He who thinks he owns property in Stalag California is delusional.

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California