Just When You Think They Can't Get More Stupid....

The one thing that every elected official and top-level appointed employee of el Pueblo de Los Angeles is that each and every one of them is stupid beyond belief. Individuals who can actually do things never become Bureau chiefs or City Councilmen. El Alcalde's main ability is that of straight-arming his way in front of any news camera that is anywhere within line-of-sight, toppling all those in his way as if they were tenpins.

Allow me to illustrate.

Very recently, a directive came down from City Hall to the effect that "Men Working" signs and other signs that use such politically incorrect words and language be changed to "People Working," and similar.

At a time when el Pueblo is allegedly strapped for cash, every city agency that uses street signs must throw them away and replace them with "gender neutral" signs, at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars to already cash-strapped taxpayers.

City engineers have already been required to remove the word "manhole" from all construction drawings, plans and specifications in favor of "person hole." No, that can't be right. It raises another entire raft of forbidden thoughts and the attendant snickers, wheezes and guffaws. Nope, it was, after thousands of hours of high-priced deliberations, decided to call them "Maintenance Holes." To this day, I notice a momentary pause and involuntary intake of breath every time I stubbornly refer to the structures as "manholes," when in company of a younger city employee.

While this might seem incredibly stupid to just about any rational individual, stand by. This is el Pueblo de Los Angeles. Soon or late, they'll come up with something even more stupid!

The true stuff is the funny stuff. --Mort Sahl

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

The Most Predictable Fumble of the Century--So far....

It was as if it was planned to be a huge mass screwup from the start. Hundreds of thousands of hippies outatime converging 'pon the Woodstock of 2009, there to see, and perhaps even to touch the hem of their messiah's robes.

Buzzing about the various chatrooms and message lists of the less-in-touch-with-reality from all over the country and abroad was the talk of tickets to the coronation inauguration of America's first god-king people's President. It promised to make the introduction of Elvis Presley or the Beatles seem as subdued as a cemetary, by comparison.

The glorious event fulfilled its promise in many ways. Washington DC was awash in humanity; throngs of worshippers like no Pope has ever witnessed.

Ah, but those tickets.....some were genuine and some were counterfeit. No one knew the difference. No one really cared. This was Woodstock 2009!

But, alas! As the day's festivities, and the events that drew these hundreds of thousands of worshippers to Jerusalem Washington were about to commence, it became apparent that all was not well in New Camelot. Thousands of worshipers well-wishers and fans of the new messiah were left stranded in tunnels and at locked security gates, waving their tickets to the blind eyes of a 42,500 strong security contingent with no head. I mentioned--dare I say predicted--the likelihood of severe difficulties here, just the other day.

According to a detailed story by George Loper here, the troubles didn't end with the lockout of thousands of ticket holders left freezing in lines outside the security gates, but continued as saddened and disgusted travelers attempted to catch their flights back home. The chaos found its way into the airports (no doubt with the enthusiastic help of TSA thugs), causing missed flights and hours-long delays.

Add all this to the climaxing SNAFU's: both the chief of the Supremes, John Roberts and the new King of the Universe President, B Hussein Obama, flubbed their lines. As any actor will tell you: take your rehearsals seriously. They didn't apparently. So, they had a redo, but no one thought to bring a camera or a tape recorder (although someone happened to have a hand-held voice recorder in his pocket.

Stalag California Senator Diane Feinstein is livid. She's calling for a full investigation to learn why the inauguration went so incredibly poorly. I honestly think it's commendable that, every time the federal government screws something up, one of our fine Senators is right there to call for a commission to investigate the reasons why things went so incredibly wrong. It helps keep out-of-work party hacks out of the poorhouse.

Washington would make a great sitcom, if it didn't kill so many people and cost so much money.

People shouldn't be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people.

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

....As Long As Only We Get To Use Them....

Yellowstone National Park is a huge place. Its footprint comprises a very large bite out or the northwest corner of Wyoming, along with appreciable bits of Montana and Idaho. It's a beautiful place, and one which very few people would not like to visit and spend some time.

It's even more beautiful in winter, in my opinion, but kind of hard to travel around in during that time of the year. Oh, I suppose they keep the paved roads open most of the time. Some people like to wander away from the paved roads.

Today, the Los Angeles Times, socialist-oriented little brother to the New York Times, has an editorial about this. Seems US Judge Emmet G Sullivan has unilaterally banned all snowmobile use within the borders of the park.

Both the Bush Administration and, more importantly, the state of Wyoming want access for up to 700 snowmobiles at a time within the park. I have no idea why the limit, but Judge Sullivan, who probably lives in Washington DC, has in his infinite wisdom, decided the number should be zero. For, you guessed it, environmental reasons.

A snowmobile leaves no footprint that won't disappear with the next snow, or with the spring thaw. Snowmobiles emit exhaust gasses, but then so do you. And so does your car as you zip along the highway. So do the bears, wolves, elk, squirrels and any other critters you can name that live there. For that matter, so do the trees and grasses, etc.

We could discuss the noise they make, but that too, is one more annoyance of many.

The overwhelming factor is that every one of us pays for the maintenance of that park. The park exists for the enjoyment of everyone. The park doesn't exist merely for the enjoyment of one Judge Sullivan--nor to satisfy the twisted sensibilities of a few pointy-headed algorians.

The solution, of course, is for the land to be sold in reasonable parcels to interested members of the public. It's well known that private owners take far better care of their own property than do government bureaucrats and the drones they employ to keep unapproved Americans off what is now their jointly-held land. It's also well known that the managers of the parks are not doing a job taking care of them. Too often, there are fires that are made far worse because heavy underbrush is allowed to remain to become fuel for wildfires. Private owners would not let that happen.

We need to get these lands out of the untrustworthy hands of an uncaring, incapable government, and out of the sway of corrupt officials like Judge Sullivan.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Life In El Pueblo de Los Angeles

Today, I attempted to call the police. No emergency, but as a minor public safety person, I thought I should get this fellow some help before he got himself, or someone else, killed.

Seems this apparently drunken bum was prancing about (on foot) in the lanes of a very busy boulevard. He survived as long as he did mostly because afternoon traffic was beginning to get heavy and cars weren't going as fast as they otherwise would. There was a lot of horn honking and swerving.

He was carrying a cardboard sign 'pon which was written: "Please give me enough money to get enough whiskey to get so drunk I can't do this." I saw no one actually stop to give him anything.

Actually, I was too far away to see what the sign said, so the above is just a guess. Probably a pretty good guess.

I didn't have the phone number for the police, and I didn't think it was an emergency--enough to qualify as a 911 call. I dialed 411 (information) and got a robot. After following the instructions and asking for the Los Angeles police, the robot (tried to) connected me to a disconnected number.

I tried again.

This time I asked for the number, which I dialed myself.

This time, I was connected to another robot, identifying himself as Antonio Vinaigrette, el alcalde del Pueblo de Los Angeles. He thanked me for phoning the City of Los Angeles, and after a campaign ad for his reelection, then advised me that if this was a life-threatening emergency I should dial 911. Then, he repeated the entire message in Spanish! I should have been connected directly to a desk sergeant at a nearby substation but, alas, that would be too simple for this administration.

Just kidding about the campaign ad, but the fact that the voice of el alcalde answered the phone is actually kind of a campaign ad, isn't it?

To add insult to insanity, the next robot voice asked me to Dial One For English.

Well, mes enfants, I NEVER DIAL ONE FOR ENGLISH. Never.

There is no one I want to talk to badly enough to have to ask to speak the language of commerce, the language of technology, the language of America.

Those who don't speak English can dial one. Or uno. Or Ein. Or whatever. I'll dial one if I find myself needing assistance in Mexico--except, in Mexico, they don't ask you to dial one for English. In Mexico, if you don't speak Spanish, good luck. If the phones work.

What do you dial if you're an arab terrorist?

Only in Los Angeles.

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Addendum:

I looked in the phone book to find the real phone number for the police, and learned that there isn't one(!). The only non-emergency way to get to the police department is to dial 311, which is a sort of Los Angeles information number.

There's no other way than going through that awful Antonio Vinaigrette sequence, then get asked to DIAL ONE FOR ENGLISH. Looks like the police have found a good way to eat their donuts uninterrupted.

I guess I'll follow the Duke's advice and just fire three shots into the air.

You Coulda Had A V-8

As I've mentioned many times, because of all the bureaucratic foolishness in the evil Patriot Act, the equally evil TSA and Homeland Security in general, I've vowed to stay the hell off commercial airliners except in the most dire emergencies. What constitutes a dire emergency? Hard to say. One hasn't come up yet. I suppose I'd fly if it was required by my job (not likely) and there was no other way.

A trip to Europe? We've been planning one (loosely) but the ongoing turn from historic playground to islamic wasteland tends to lessen the trip's desirability.

Perhaps a family emergency, but most of my family resides within driving distance.

The notion of having to beg permission of the government to travel at will is not only unConstitutional, but essentially evil and against everything for which America's Founders stood. Each elected representative who voted for the establishment of Homeland Security, the Patriot Act and every atrocity committed by their membership, by commission or omission, should be prosecuted to the fullest degree the law allows, for egregious violation of his Oath of Office.

Yesterday, there was yet another in a long line of incidents that illustrate the inconvenience that occurs when utterly incompetent bureaucratic parasites (but again, I repeat myself) attempt to do that is well beyond both the scope and mandate of government, and the intelligence and ability of the civil servant. They seem to be trying to provide security to individuals in a situation whose technological nature is far beyond the ken of the bureaucratic mind.

The situation, as described by Andrew Kirtzman in a WCBSTV story here, involved someone spilled tomato juice 'pon an xray machine.

A TSA thug said that 'twas a vendor who committed the spill, but government thugs lie. Additionally, if the alleged security of airports can be so easily interrupted, isn't that a problem in its own right?

I'd wager that 'twas actually one of the dopey civil servants who committed the horrid act, and I'd further wager that said thug will not be punished, with the possible exception of a verbal admonishment to be more careful next time. That is, if you want to put an xray machine out of commission to score a longer break, don't let anyone see you do it.

Meanwhile, hundreds of travelers were inconvenienced, and many probably missed their flights. Doubtless, millions of dollars have been lost by the airlines and by lost business.

It'd be nice to hear the airline corporation executives raise some hell about these very common delays caused by bureaucratic fumbling, but they're largely spineless empty suits and live in fear of even more draconian regulation.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Giving Thieves a Free Hour To Work Their Magic

In a useless gesture designed to make parasitic politicians (but, I repeat myself) feel useful, algorians around the Stalag are calling for residents of Los Pueblos de Los Angeles, Santa Barbara and San Francisco to turn out their lights between 8 and 9PM today to save enough electricity to light 2500 residences for an entire year. So far, I've not been contacted to be one of those who is to receive a year's free power.

According to a Reuters story, lights in Alcatraz, the Los Angeles International Airport and the Golden Gate Bridge, along with most lights in city buildings (all with exceptions for safety considerations) will be turned off for this hour. Imagine how much more money we'd save if they did this during what the city sniggeringly refers to as "working hours."

This gives thieves and burglars an entire hour to work their magic in a more nearly ideal environment, and one can only imagine what sorts of things might go on during this hour in San Francisco!

El Pueblo de Los Angeles runs its own power operation, which was founded under the proposition that a city-owned power company, divorced from the profit motive, will cost consumers less and be more responsive to consumer demands. Of course, we all know how that worked out. Power is every bit as expensive in LA as it is anywhere else, and more expensive than most localities, and you can't get anyone on the phone. Power transmission is still done by means of unsightly and dangerous overhead wires instead of underground, as has been done in most surrounding areas for decades.

The real answer? Privatize.

Unfortunately, because of state and federal regulation, competition is not only nonexistent, but prohibited by law. Were the industry privatized and deregulated (truly deregulated), each household would be capable of picking and choosing among several power suppliers. We could shop price, or service, or even set up our own individual home power plant (as long as it doesn't disturb the neighbors).

Senor Antonio Vinaigrette, el Alcalde del Pueblo de Los Angeles, still maintains that a cure for all our power shortages is that we should replace out incandescent bulbs with rotini light fixtures, and just limit our use of electricity 'twixt the hours of 3PM and 7PM (or something like that). As we say in the Valley, "Like, I'm sure!"

It's now a little after 9PM and I still haven't been notified about my year of free power.

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Water Under Troubled Bridges

We've all been hearing and reading about the tragedy in the Mini-Apple. It's been covered, perhaps a bit too much, by all the media. A recent Minneapolis Star Tribune story on the recovery efforts and the investigation of the incident can be found here.

One of the early findings was that the bridge has been deemed "deficient" and in need of structural repair for some time. In fact, bridge inspectors around the country have said that there are hundreds of bridges around the various states that are in similar condition; some worse. Almost none have scheduled repairs to alleviate the situation. In the case of the fallen bridge, as I'm given to understand, crews were working on repaving the deck, but none were working on the bridge's structural strength.

Transportation officials and politicians from the various states are clambering over each other to get to the microphone to say there is no danger in America's bridges. A (fortunately) fairly small number of individuals in Minneapolis and St Paul hospitals might have a differing opinion.

I'm in this business. I've done testing on soils, concrete and other materials on several Stalag California bridges. They are (most of them, presumably) in fine shape when they first opened to traffic. Many of them are currently being strengthened to withstand more powerful earthquakes on the urban freeways. This after several bridges collapsed during earthquakes in recent years.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, more likely) most states never have earthquakes, or rarely. Looks like highway departments in these states, and the politicians who vote them funds, have decided that once a bridge is built, they're done.

Bridges deteriorate, just as do roads, buildings and utility systems. The day that a bridge is found to be substandard, repairs should be scheduled.

Politicians get their accolades when public works are opened and dedicated. Maintenance isn't sexy. In a world of finite resources, it gets a politician a lot more face time in front of their constituents when they "give away something new," than it does just to keep it in good repair.

Washington parasites are now talking about guaranteeing health care for all children (never mind the parents' responsibility) while ignoring the maintenance of the nation's infrastructure.

While watching a news program on MSNBC this afternoon, I happened to see a writer by the name of Nick Coleman of the Star Tribune who claims that the problem is not high enough taxes. I'll have to assume that he, as an honorable man, gives the state of Minnesota what he sees as a fair share of his salary, even if it's substantially more than the State requires.

What needs to happen is that the infrastructure should be privatized. Utilities should own and be solely responsible for their generators, power lines, etc. Water utilities should own and be solely responsible for their reservoirs, distribution systems, and all the attendant equipment.
Highways, roads and streets should be privately owned, either by entrepreneurs or by business or homeowners associations, who should be solely responsible for them.

You see where this is (finally) going.

Customers would know whom to hold responsible if the maintenance of the various utilities is substandard. They will vote with their wallets and with their feet. A town with unmaintained streets or poor utilities will be known as a ghost town.

As I've said many times before, the answer is always "privatize."

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Rocky & Hoodwinkle

As if El Pueblo de Los Angeles didn't have enough problems, what with el alcade Antonio Vinaigrette being divorced by his loving wife and being dumped by thirteen of his mistresses, and his difficulties controlling his police officers, now we learn that the Pueblo's City Attorney is up to his neck in "petty theft."

According to this story in the Los Angeles Daily News, along with several others in the LA Times and on radio and tv, Senor Delgadillo, the petty thief's facilitator, henchman and co-conspirator, his wife, Michelle, has been on a petty theft rampage for at least five years.

Michelle's first antic (about which we were informed) was her 2004 accident while driving Senor Delgadillo's city-owned vehicle. City government does not allow employees to allow others to drive its vehicles. Senor Delgadillo attempted to cover up the incident until it became impossible to do so. According to Steve Lopez, an LA Times writer, Michelle had no auto insurance at the time, and was driving with a suspended driver's license.

"How inconvenient that this news broke just as Delgadillo was ripping Sheriff Lee Baca for springing (Paris) Hilton so soon after she was locked up for driving on a suspended license, of all things," writes Lopez.

Soon after, it was finally noted that Mrs Delgadillo has an outstanding warrant for her having failed to appear in court to answer for having been cited, in 1998, for driving on an expired Montana license, in her maiden name, and driving a car with expired plates, and with no proof of insurance.

Then, because all the above caused an abnormal degree of focus 'pon Senor Delgadillo, stories began to leak out about his use of his staff to run some of his personal errands and to babysit his two children during business hours.

Then, just the other day, it was disclosed that Michelle ran a home-based corporation for three years, from 2002 through 2005, without going through the trouble and expense of obtaining a city business license nor filing state income tax returns. This part of the story is detailed here.

Now I'm, as many of you know, opposed to the entire series of notions involving mandatory forced financing of government at any level. I don't consider it a state prerogative to issue licenses or otherwise decide who is to be allowed to pursue any particular professional endeavor. These ought to be done by voluntary means between consenting individuals. Qualification to drive or otherwise travel 'pon streets and highways should be the prerogative of the owners of the streets and highways, who should not be the state. Damages for mishaps should be the responsibility of the individuals who cause the mishap, or their insurance carriers.

Senor Delgadillo, by actively trying to cover up his wife's disdain for the law and lying about his own misuse of his office staff, places himself in the category of Corrupt Civil Servant. He should resign. He should be fired.

Actually, I advocate that any elected office holder or any civil servant convicted of lying--any lying during the performance of his job--be publicly hanged by the neck until dead. Of course, that'd thin their ranks dramatically, which could be nothing but good for the productive segment of society. I nominate Rocky Delgadillo for an early court date.

Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. --Lord Acton

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Children's Prisons Under Siege

I was reading the story through the plastic window of the vending machine. It was the Los Angeles Daily News, a leftist-run newspaper that I don't purchase because of its bias.

Later, I found the story (containing a lot of leftist spin) on the net.

The story tells us that students at several San Fernando Valley High Schools are experiencing an increasing number of violent attacks in recent times. I might wonder how this could possibly be, in light of the fact that LA children's prisons are legally "safe school zones," in which there are high penalties for possession of a weapon or committing various other crimes within the area.

David Brewer, the superintendent of the Los Angeles Unified School District, neatly sidesteps the issue by claiming it's "the community's fault." He pledges to work closely with Antonio Vinaigrette, el alcalde del Pueblo de Los Angeles to reduce gang activity.

El alcalde, a member of MEChA, a latino power organization, is failing miserably in the battle against criminal gangs, partly because he refuses to acknowledge the racial aspect of gang dynamics, and partly because he refuses to recognize the means of their funding: illegal vice. He further casts a blind eye 'pon anything that might actually lessen their power. His idea of fighting gangs is with negotiation, and attempts to learn more about their grievances so he can find a way to satisfy them. "I feel your pain," or the like.

I have news for you, Senor Alcalde: They want money and they want power over others. Just like you do. Just like the city council does. Just like the federal government's elected officials do.
They, and you, want the unearned. You want respect and adulation even if you have to get it by force of arms.

I know this is the farthest thing from your mind (such as it is), but if you really wanted to do away with gangs, here are three things that will go a long way toward a solution:

• Repeal all of the municipal gun laws. All of them. This is the most important, and would be the most effective of this entire list. One of the biggest reasons for the success of gangs in El Pueblo is the fact that most of their victims have no way of effectively defending themselves.
• Repeal all municipal drug laws. The enforcement of drug laws is far more harmful to the populace than are the drugs themselves. If the drugs to which we refer as "recreational" were readily available at drug stores (or even head shops) at market prices, gangs will have lost their primary source of revenue, not to mention power.
• Withhold tax payments to the state and federal governments. They are doing nothing to help the problem. Their actions seriously aggravate these and many other local difficulties, and they deserve no payment for their lack of effective effort.
• Permanently suspend any and all mandatory taxes, and solicit donations from the public to fund police and court activities. The poor can't afford to pay your confiscatory taxes; the better off could afford to invest in businesses that could offer honest work to ex-gangsters and the honest unemployed alike. Offer all municipal services on a fee-for-service basis at market prices.
  
• El Pueblo should divest itself of all services that can be offered on the free market. Fire fighting and prevention, education, health services, utilities, public transportation, routine police patrolling, construction inspection and even streets and highways can be privately owned and operated. It'd be done far more efficiently and at less expense outside of municipal control.

The only reason that these solutions won't be considered is that, in the deepest analysis, Senor Vinaigrette, the City Council, the Chief of Police and the heads of the various municipal departments are a gang in their own right, and will only mount a serious battle against street gangs if they actually challenge the power of city government itself.

....And that could happen, amigos mios. It could happen soon.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Addendum:
As I write this, according to a story in the Long Beach Press Telegram, four of nine gang thugs who beat up three young women of another race in nearby Long Beach this past Halloween because they are of another race, were sentenced to probation and house arrest for their actions. These women are not yet recovered from their injuries. This is a perfect example of municipal governments' inability (of lack of desire) to deal with gang activity.

LA Road Warrior

Fortunately, I was going in the right direction today: luck o' the draw.

There's an old joke. Why do Mexicans like to deal in cash? Because it's hard to sign a check with a can of spray paint.

Apparently, this morning, one of those dopey Mexi-gang types spray painted a pretty large--and I'd guess a pretty undesirable--message 'pon a bridge abutment wall on the southbound I-5 freeway just south of Boyle Heights. Boyle Heights is a pretty heavily latin (self-imposed) ghetto just southwest of downtown Los Angeles. Mexi-gang lingo graffiti is abundantly visible throughout the area.

As I mentioned, the graffito must've been kind of nasty, though I couldn't tell for sure because I was passing at 60mph, and there was a Caltrans drone painting it out with gray paint. They usually just leave it until someone else comes along and paints over it. About all I could tell from the uncovered portion was that it was Mexi-gang in nature.

The bad part of this whole scene wasn't so much the fact of the graffito. The bad part is as follows: While the painter was working with a paint roller to cover the "art," and his partner had a flat-bed truck alongside in the right traffic lane, a highway patrol idjit had all four lanes of traffic stopped dead, waiting for the painter to finish(!).

As I said at the beginning, I was going in the right direction. All those on the southbound side were stopped, waiting while a civil servant is painting a bridge! Thousands of gallons of gas and diesel fuel were being wasted, costing every driver money for the added wear on his vehicle, not to mention time lost in the life of each and every individual sitting there breathing the concentrated exhaust fumes of all those vehicles while watching paint dry.

Here we have even more proof that freeways ought to be taken out of the hands of the blundering state and given (sold to pay off Guber Ahnold's burgeoning deficit) to those who can operate them efficiently.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

The Thugs of Surf City

Huntington Beach, aka Surf City, is a scenic, sleepy, mostly upscale town along the Pacific coast between Newport Beach and Long Beach. Huntington Beach is the town about which many of the Beach Boys' and other surf bands' songs are written. Hundreds of bikers and hot rodders can be spotted kroozin' up and down Pacific Coast Highway through Huntington Beach on any nice weekend afternoon. Thousands of beautiful young bikini-clad woman can be seen tanning, swimming and playing on the miles of perfect beach, along with an equal number of young men doing the same things, and families and elders each enjoying the sun, surf and fine Stalag California summer weather in his/her own way.

There is a dark cloud over Surf City, though, and it hovers over the city civic center. Specifically, it's centered over the out-of-control Huntington Beach Police Department.

As a long-time resident of nearby Santa Ana, and other nearby towns, I was able to observe the radicalization of the HB police as it built up. It seems to have started with those old wild-and-wooly Fourth of July street parties of the 1970's (they may be even older than that, but this is my recollection). Given the moral laxness of the hippie years, there was a lessening of enforcement of civic ordnances, combined with the usual large number of visitors from other towns, abundant liquor and other intoxicants, the tendency was for this partying to get more and more outrageous.

We more cautious individuals who had enough sense to stay away from Huntington Beach heard tales of drunken brawls and vandalism, bonfires in the streets using items stolen from vandalized businesses for fuel, even asssaults and muggings.

The citizens and business owners of Huntington Beach, alarmed by the sheer insanity of the bacchanalia, not to mention the destruction, naturally complained to the city.

The police were ordered to toughen up.

Devoid of any philosophical background, respect for property rights nor even any respect for the US Constitution and Bill of Rights, the unofficial attitude of the HBPD soon became, "Let's go out and kick some ass!"

I'm not sure of the degree of officiality of the clampdown, but it's gotten to the point where the most benign gatherings can be broken up, the most peaceful drinking parties can face arrest for public drinkenness, and it's even illegal to have a beer in one's own front yard while mowing the grass!

More recently, according to an article by Steven Greenhut of the Orange County Register (Commentary, Dec. 17, 2006), police have taken to brutalizing their victims for even the most trivial offenses (both real and suspected). Greenhut cites the police as having tossed a loaded pistol into the trunk of a DUI suspect's car, not in an attempt to enhance the prosecution based on the presence of that weapon, but merely to frighten the hapless suspect as to the degree of his legal trouble.

The officers admitted their folly as the suspect identified the weapon in detail in open court, and attempted to pass it off as some sort of training exercise for the officer. More recently, a contractor for the Register, who operates coin operates sidewalk newspaper racks in parts of the OC, was violently rousted by HB police, not giving him an opportunity to explain that they were his news racks. The man was held at gunpoint, forced to prostrate himself, painfully handcuffed him and angrily yelled at him abusefively. Allegedly, as they say.

Whenever the HB goon squad is called on this sort of behavior, the complaints apparently end up in the round file, officially called "official confidentiality." "Exempt from the public records act."

What the HB thug squad apparently has forgotten, and no one seems to have the stones to (forcefully) remind them, is that they work for us. They're our employees. They have to do what we say.

As author L Neil Smith often admonishes, and I fully second, "no more secrets, no more lies." Any one of us might, under the correct circumstances, be elected to any office in the land. It's to be presumed that, any one of us, in other words, is trustworthy enough to be privy to any and all of the records and acts of our "civil" employees.

In a free society, that's how it must be.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Darwin Was Wrong--It's Survival of the Wimpiest

I wonder how these pampered, oh, so easily offended wimps that man the supposedly high stress and high-responsibility positions in the many levels of the parasite class. I wrote here, just the other day, about the alleged fire fighter, Tennie Pierce. He's the "man" who is suing El Pueblo de Los Angeles for a fat retirement 'cause some of his mischievous coworkers spiked his spaghetti with dog food. Boo-hoo! This in spite of Pierce's having been party to several hazings and pranks himself.

The courthouse records from around the nation are fairly thick with lawsuits by civil leeches who have sued (and often won) for all manner of trivial offenses, slights and insults by coworkers and the general public. One wonders how America ever became the world's richest and most comfortable country in which to live one's life.

Did Sears sue Roebuck for placing his name first on the sign? Did Davidson sue Harley for being taller and better looking? Were the Wright brothers in court over who got to wear the goggles?

When I worked for a fairly large engineering firm, some years ago, at one point we had a mandatory sexual harassment lecture. The lecture was given by a very attractive middle-aged woman, who at one point instructed us that even the act of "looking a female coworker up and down" could be construed as sexual harassment. One wonders whether doing the same to a male coworker will get the same degree of condemnation.

My observation was, "Ms *****, how do you react to the fact that, if men had not been looking female coworkers up and down in past decades, many of us wouldn't exist today." While my comment got a satisfying amount of guffaws from my coworkers (male and female), I got little more than an icy smile from Ms *****.

A blurb in Chuck Muth's "DC Confidential" list goes as follows:

"* A female Nevada Highway Patrol (NHP) captain has filed a half-million lawsuit against the force alleging a "hostile work environment." The hostilities include being called names like "The Princess," and being told by colleagues she looked good in uniform. Oh, and "someone put a McDonald's application in her in-box one day." Good grief. If the woman can't handle things this petty, how in the world can she deal with gang-bangers, murderers and thieves? And how did such a fragile little flower rise to the rank of captain in the police force in the first place? Can you say "political correctness" and "affirmative action," boys and girls?"

This story in the Las Vegas Review-Journal gives a little more insight, though I haven't been able to find the original news story.

The details aren't important to my purpose here, which is to point out that, compared to men and women of yore, most of today's adults, especially those in civil service, are complete __________ (fill in your favorite epithet that refers to an utter inability to function in the real world). One wonders why these inept men and women want to pursue careers as police officers or fire fighters when they can't even function under the normal tension-lessening give-and-take in which people in dangerous careers have been engaging for decades, if not centuries.

I really dread the day that I need any sort of government-monopoly emergency aid. The megablunder that was government's (at all levels) emergency response to Hurricane Katrina vanden Heuvel is only the tip of the iceburg, folks. Be really careful with matches.

I fear for the health of the Republic.

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Oh! You Mean We Have To Fight Fires, Too?

I'm not sure how widely this story has circulated about the nation, but it's pretty big in the Stalag, currently. Seems the firemen in Los Angeles Fire Department's firehouses regard the houses to be more like "Delta Houses," as envisioned in the 1978 comedy film, "National Lampoon's Animal House."

Hazings and pranks seem to be the pastime of choice during those long hours on duty between fires--at least that's what Antonio Vinaigrette, el Alcalde del Pueblo de Los Angeles, seems to be trying to convey.

After the moronic (to a man/woman) City Council voted to give fireman Tennie Pierce $2.7 million as a settlement over a silly prank, and the Alcalde vetoed the settlement, citing the apparent fact that Mr Pierce had been a willing participant in many hazings and pranks himself. A huge lawsuit will, no doubt, be upcoming. Mr Pierce is looking to cut a fat hog in the ass for his retirement, get it?

The silly prank in question was that members of the frat house, er, firehouse, spiked Pierce's spaghetti with dog food. Though it's said that the prank came from the fact that Pierce repeatedly referred to himself as the "Big Dog." Pierce claims the prank comes from racism (he's black, you see). I find it a mite unsettling that many of the individuals with whom we're required to place our trust regarding fire protection come off as, at once, irresponsible frat boys (and, presumably, girls) and terribly emotionally fragile. A little dog food never hurt anyone--according to the Democrats, the nation's elderly live on it!

Suck it up, Pierce! Be a man!

In the wake of this sordid tale, the city Fire Chief, William Bamattre, has announced his retirement. Apparently, this kind of heat isn't what he wishes to tolerate. Seems he was ordered to give no tolerance to hazers and pranksters, but was given little authority to enforce the edict.

El Alcalde follows this up with the announcement that he's appointing Assistant Chief Douglas Barry the new pro tem Fire Chief during the process of selecting a new permanent Chief.

El Alcalde, shining up his PC merit badge, further states that Chief Barry will be "a change agent who can hold the line on hazing" and who "doesn't have an ax to grind. He's not looking for a promotion. He just wants to do the job."

It's emphasized that Barry will "become the first black to lead the department when he takes over as acting chief Jan. 1."

Apparently, according to the shadowy contents of the bureaucratic mind, Barry's race somehow makes him uniquely capable of dealing with the disarray within the department.

At no time, in the knowledge of any rational individual of whom I'm aware, has anyone at City Hall suggested that the department be privatized, or that carriers of fire insurance would have a vested interest in financing firefighting agencies. The bureaucracy must be maintained, and indeed, enlarged to the greatest extent possible.

Nowhere within any of the news stories I read was there any mention of actual fire fighting nor rescue operations nor any of the other tasks we in the Stalag are told are the specialties of the Los Angeles Fire Department.

One hopes the boys and girls in the red trucks can find time to take care of business, if only occasionally.

Stories leading to the above analysis can be found here, here and here. Read 'em. Some parts of them are quite funny.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

El Alcalde del Pueblo de Los Angeles Trashes the Police

Eschewing the very notion that the city might be able to redirect some of the confiscatory taxation of its peones from wasteful and harmful projects to areas in which most Angelenos rely on city services, Alcalde Tony Vinaigrette has decreed that los peones shall pay for the addition of more LAPD storm troopers by means of a more-than-doubling of the monthly fee for trash collection. El Alcalde proposes to raise the monthly fee from $11 to $28 for single family dwellings, according to this story on LA's CBS News affiliate.

Where's Zorro when we need him?

It's true that LA has fewer cops per capita than any other large city, but the reasons for that are several, and tripling a tax won't do much to solve many of them. Cops don't like to work in LA. If they start in LA, they move to a different city as soon as they can get another job. Why? They get second-guessed about everything they do. Management won't back them. Too much racial politics. The law isn't always the law, or, some people are more equal than others.

El Alcalde faces a fight to get this fee (tax) increase through, and if he does, an awful campaign fight in the future.

The real question is, why can't the outrageous taxes Angelenos already pay cover the number one most important mandate cities have? The answer is an easy one. Los Angeles has fifteen City Council members, each of whom are paid nearly $150k a year and numerous perqs. Each and every one of them has a long list of really important projects that have to be funded, not to mention absolutely necessary junkets and fact finding trips to places like Hawaii and Paris each year. That, and all the Angelenos (legal or not) who really need help.

And, of course, there are the children. We must help the children. There's no shortage of plots and plans by any and all of the Los Angeles City Council members to spend millions and millions on the children. We'll tax the parents to death for the children.

One of the chief reasons the City of LA took over trash collection from private firms in the first place was because they said a uniform, city-wide trash collection system would be more efficient and cost less. Angelenos ought to have seen the fallacy when paying for the service was made mandatory. You can't take your own trash to the landfill, nor stay with the private firm. Well, sometimes you can, but you still have to pay the fee to the city.

Now, we see.... Let government take over any needed good or service from the private sector, and they'll invariably hold it over your head like a club. Instances of this are clear in government schools and in city water departments.

If Alcalde Vinaigrette has his way, trash collection by the city will certainly no longer be cheaper than if it were privately done.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Any Port in a Storm

I don't like to treat symptoms. While some of my solutions might seem to some to be pie-in-the-sky fantasizing, mental meanderings into some kind of idealistic dream world, I see them as cutting through the bureaucratic layers of crap and the justifications of layers and layers of an impossible patchwork of quick fixes and pragmatic political payoffs.

I see them as ways to fix it once and fix it right.

Politicians and their apologists are quick to use the excuse, "this decision is just like that decision. That decision was judged Constitutional by the Warren Court in 1959." Well, if the problem is looked at with the eye of a non-receiver of government paychecks (or payoffs), and compared directly to the Constitution as written, in light of the opinions of the Founders as written in the Federalist and Anti-Federalist Papers, it's very clear that it's not Constitutional at all.

Let's try an example. The so-called "War on Drugs," (truthful name, War on the Bill of Rights) has been ratified by all and sundry politicians, both Republican and Democrat, from local Chiefs of Police to the President of the United States. Cases run through courts from local through the US Supreme Court and the answer is always the same: the "War on Drugs" is Constitutional. Warranted and warrentless searches of individuals' homes, computers, medical records and financial records is routine when the word "drugs" is breathed. Yet, point to me the phrase in the Constitution that gives gevernment the prerogative/mandate to control that which any individual may ingest. G'ahead. I dare ya.

How about another? How about the current port flap?

I think it's less a problem than do most. I don't care who's managing the eastern seaports as long as they're good at their jobs. I don't care who's pullin' dat barge, as long as they're good barge pullers.

The problem isn't with who's contracted to manage the ports, it's who owns the ports. Government should not own nor have anything to do with the ports. Why? Because government can't do anything right. Note the confusion: government announces that it'd be easy for a "terrorist" to hide a WMD in a container and ship it to the US. Then, almost without taking a breath, they admit that they can only inspect 3-5% of the containers that arrive at the ports!

It's the Coast Guard and Customs that are responsible for inspecting the ports. These are government agencies. The one characteristic that unites all the employees of all the government agencies is laziness. They're not going to do anthing unless it'll hurt not to--and managers, because of civil service rules (the Coast Guard' military rules are a little better, but not much) can't enforce much discipline.

The incentive needed to run a good seaport, like just about anything else, is ownership. Full ownership, not that quasi-ownership in which business fronts the capital and government makes all the rules, but absolute, for profit ownership. No government agent should be able to enter the property unless he has a warrant signed by a judge who can be disembenched for signing frivolous warrants.

Profit incentives will force owners and their managers to work effectively. If the owners of a por continually has problems such as explosions and lost shipments, shippers will use other ports and the problem port will go out of business, close and be sold, presumably to enrepreneurs who will do it better.

There is some Constitutional justification for government meddling in international trade, and I recognize that. I disagree with the two-plus century-old reasoning behind it--it's merely a bit of mercantilist baggage that sneaked over here in an uninspected ship from 18th Century England. It can be eliminated by Constitutional Amendment.

Remember, VOTE FOR NO INCUMBENT!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Brushfire of the Vanities

There's another in a long and continuing series of brush fires currently burning in the OC. Because these fires have absolutely no respect for city limits and county boundaries, (a sentiment with which I can fully sympathize) the fire could tresspass into the cities of Orange and Anaheim, and into Riverside County before it's brought under control.

The fire is burning in a questionably named "National Forest" after the late, lamented President Cleveland. I don't know whether President Cleveland has ever actually visited this rather poor excuse for a forest, because if he had, he might have declared that he'd rather attach his name to a forest that actually had trees within its boundaries, rather than acres and acres of scrub brush and poison oak. Note: I've just been informed that some parts of the Cleveland National Forest actually do have real trees!

Nonetheless, whenever some careless and unschooled twenty-something happens to drive his fully equipped and fully financed BMW along a freeway passing through or near this "forest," and throws his cigarette butt out of the car, we get a brush fire. Such is today's lamentable situation.

One might sigh, shrug and say, "Well, no one lost his home....and now there's no more fuel to burn." Not so, my northern or eastern friend. In the length of time it takes for our BMW-driving lout to finish another cigarette, the scrub has regrown, redried and is ready to burn anew. Even in the absence of rain!

Such is the case in which government owns land: they own it. They won't allow adjoining private landowners to improve it or to grade off firebreaks (mustn't annoy the wacko environmentalists, dear friends!), and they certainly won't take care of it themselves. That'd be work! (Heard in a Maynard G Crebbs falsetto, Work?)

So, for those misguided individuals who wish to live at the edge of Southern California civilization (such as it is), fire is a constant worry--all the time except during our rare rainstorms. Then, flash floods and landslides come to the forefront.

There's no reason why these "forests" can't be bulldozed off in favor of new housing except:

• Wacko environmentalists
• Extant property owners (wishing to keep their inflated property values high)
• Local government (hoping not to have the inadequacy of their infrastructure revealed)
• Federal government (desiring to keep control of.....just about everything)
• NIMBYs (detesting the noise and traffic of construction)
• Bigots (You never know who'll move in there)

I could digress into a discussion of how all this makes it more difficult for the working dude to buy a house--or even rent an apartment, but we've all read our Ludwig von Mises and Henry Hazlitt, haven't we? Politicians, bureaucrats and drones (but, I repeat myself) say they want to help the poor, but they absolutely, positively will not do what it takes.

Meanwhile, Cleveland National Scrub Brush Farm is still burning. Like two or three other areas of Sunny SoCal have within the past year. What a waste of time, money and real estate!

And any family earning less tha $50k cannot afford to buy a house in a nice neighborhood without crippling itself financially.

The solution: Government must sell off its land holdings--especially those which aren't used, maintained and watched. Especially those that are in proximity of urban areas.

These areas can be developed with the inclusion of full infrastructure and thereby increase the supply of affordable housing for the less affluent.

Oh, it might mean that all these nice OC homes might slide a bit in value, and I don't expect current homeowners to like it, but but we have a serious government-caused problem. It has to be fixed.

Ok, this started out as a post about a fire. It ended up being about prime real estate lying wasted in the hands of parasites who have no idea what they're doing. Meanwhile, they're trying at every opportunity to steal more. Go figure.

Remember, VOTE FOR NO INCUMBENT!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Addendum: This morning, I've been hearing that the Sierra fire (they name them!) has burned about 7500 acres. The Forestry doofuses also have admitted that they started the fire! It was a planned "controlled burn" to form a fire break to make future fire fighting easier, should a real fire break out. I know, I'm confused, too. It theoretically is a legitimate tool, though, except that they forgot to put it out.

I rest my case: looks like civil drones can't even be trusted with matches.

How a Civil Servant Fixes a Problem

"It's not my fault."
"95% of the public are satisfied with our service."
"The perception of the public is often inaccurate."
"....Forces beyond our control...."
"We're understaffed."
"We're underfunded."

You get the idea.

On January 3rd, 2006, the US Postal Service increased the cost of mailing a letter from 37 to 39 cents. The public has known this was coming for months. Apparently no one told the various postmasters.

I have a letter that I've been carrying in my bag for a couple of weeks now. I forgot to mail it right away, but that's ok. There's no urgency involved. The day after the New Year holiday, Tuesday the 3rd, I went to the Los Alamitos Post Office, near my office, to mail it. By this time, I was aware that I'd need to put two cents additional postage on it, which is why I didn't just drop it in the slot. I have several more 37-cent stamps that'll have to be augmented, as well.

I went in early, thinking I could buy the stamps from the machine. Dopey me. Inside the lobby, there's a big sign. "Out of Two-Cent Stamps." I looked at the stamp vending machine: Out of order.

Again, I wonder if anyone told the postmaster about the increase. You'd think that they'd have a big supply of two-cent stamps for the easily-anticipated demand. Well, then you have to recall that this is a government agency. I'm sorry, it's a government-owned private corporation. Operated by government drones according to government and civil employee rules.

Today, I went in again. Certainly they'd have two-cent stamps by now! No two-cent stamps and the stamp vending machine is still out of order.

In order to mail my letter, I'll have to go in when they're open and wait in a near-DMV-length line, in order to have the drone put a two-cent metered stamp on my letter.

The solution to this, as everyone outside the beltway knows, is to open first-class service to UPS and all others who wish to compete with USPS for the job of mailing my (and your) letters. Let the firms who can do the job best and cheapest, survive.

Like most of you, I do most of my correspondence by email now. Such a deal! I have to stand in the post office line far less often. I sure wish I could do this one by email!

Remember, VOTE FOR NO INCUMBENTS!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Send Us Your Poor.....

As far as I am concerned, while the rest of the world wallows under despotism and dictatorship, and the United States still enjoys just a wee bit more freedom then the next most free country. If individuals from any of those relatively unfree states decide that it's in their interest to look for opportunities in the United States, I welcome them. I don't see where any "naturalization" is needed, nor any tallying, categorizing nor quotas. Bring 'em on. America can use more workers, entrepreneurs, inventors and assorted thinkers. We really need people that can teach.

What we don't need are more welfare cases. America is loaded with socialist, utterly irrational judges who think, for whatever twisted reason (and I use the word reason very loosely here), that public money should not only go to nonproductive Americans, but to nonproductive foreigners!

The big howl by taxpayers right now is about "illegal aliens" entering the US and using local government schools, using local hospital and medical facilities which are required to provide services to anyone regardless of ability to pay, and many other government services that can ber accessed by anyone for no charge. Most of these taxpayers think the solution is to "seal the borders" and stop these foreigners from entering the country.

This is an impossible task. If there's anything the United States have, it's borders.

Many of those who hold the above views will also say, many truthfully, that they have nothing against those "illegals" who come here to work, if they're not a burden on government's largess. Realizing that many of these people have very little to look forward to in their home countries, how can we blame them? We thrive on immigrants! We're all immigrants, or descended from immigrants.

What if the Indians along the eastern seaboard had had an INS in the 17th Century?

The problem isn't the immigrants, legal or illegal (aside: if INS was doing a decent job, there'd be more legal immigrants and fewer illegal ones), the problem is the Welfare State. If these immigrants knew that by coming into the United States, they must become productive, a day's work for a day's pay, and build a life here. Almost all of them come here with the idea of doing just that.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

FEMA, Get Thee Hence....

Nowhere in the US Constitution is it authorized that a federal agency be created to offer assistance to victims of a natural disaster such as Hurricanes Katrina Vanden Heuvel and Lovely Rita. Nor for the Northridge Earthquake of 1994 nor any very heavy snowstorm.

What happens, as happens with all federal help agencies, is that they take the money, which comes to them by way of our taxes, skim off 40 to 60% to pay the civil servants, appointees, various hacks and, of course, the politicians themselves, and waste any remainder on porky-type projects. FEMA is exactly the kind of agency into which politicians place their brothers-in-law, nephews and blackmailers to give them a hefty salary and shut them up.

We, those of us who fall into the category *productive* lose at least half of our productivity to our bloated, out-of-control, thieving government. FEMA is only a small one of literally hundreds of money pits that suck up this production and waste it by putting it in the pockets of the non-productive.

Were it not for FEMA, and all these other unConstitutional federal agencies--and, yes, even many of the Constitutional ones, imagine what it'd be like to actually be able to spend, save or invest every bit of that paycheck. Cool!

But, back to disasters. In a real-world, in the absence of confiscatory taxation and the occasional pittance one gets returned on those rare occasions, you'd be getting $1000 a week to use as you wish, unlike in this world of theft, in which you get $1000 minus federal withholding, SS payroll tax, state income tax, state sales tax, gas tax, property tax, auto, aircraft and rv fees and licenses, business fees and licenses and last and best, sin taxes. As it is now, maybe you'll be able to use as much as $500 of it for yourself and your family.

That's a pretty good disaster in itself.

What if there's a real disaster, and no FEMA?

Well, at the risk of talking down to most of you, here goes.

One thing many of us might consider is living in a part of the country not prone to floods, hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, wildfires, landslides, democrats and republicans. If you, like me, decide to live in certain areas in spite of one or more of these dangers, insurance is a really good idea. Ah, but if insurance against republicans and democrats were only available!

If the worst happens, and you lose your house and its contents to one of these, you may lose your baby pictures and your best copy of Atlas Shrugged, but at least there'll be a payout to help you get a new start (with FEMA, that's not nearly as certain!) . And, in the absence of the above-mentioned confiscatory taxation, it'd be far more likely you'd be able to afford good insurance.

Also, observe that during the recent tribulations, affected victims sit on their flood-soaked front stoops and whine to media reporters about how nobody helped them. The mayor was busy chasing news cameras to whimper into, the governor was making sure no federal empty suit took over her national guard. FEMA set up road blocks to make sure nobody provided help before they could. At least, with your insurance broker, you're just dealing with one guy, and you get to pick the guy.

You have the relative certainty of knowing that when that emergency happens, you're on your own and that you, on your own, having planned for as many contingencies as possible, have given yourself the best chance possible of survival. Compare that with sitting on the stoop and hoping FEMA will come along and help!

I'd far rather depend on myself than depend on the likes of Michael Brown or Michael Chertoff to get their heads out of their butts.

Remember, VOTE FOR NO INCUMBENT!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California

Nazism Rears Its Ugly Head in New Orleans

Armed thugs are going house to house in the New Orleans area--looking for victims to help? No! They're going through relatively undamaged neighborhoods looking for and confiscating firearms, including the legally owned weapons of responsible, productive individuals as described here.

As if to maximize the already overwhelming victimization of the hapless citizens of the area, evil jack-booted thugs are making sure that non-criminals in the area are unable to protect themselves against the looter gangs who have emptied out all the gun and sporting goods stores of their stock of weapons and ammunition.

Much of the actions of the several levels of government before, during and after Hurricane Katrina Vanden Heuvel seems to be aimed at maximizing casualties.

• Not allowing private individuals and charitable groups to go into the ravaged areas to offer help and effect rescues.

• Failing to utilize the cities school and transit buses to help the evacuation in the hours prior to the arrival of the storm.

• Failing to declare a state of emergency until after the situation was far beyond unmanageable.

• Not allowing the Red Cross, standing by with food, water, clothing, hygeine kits and medical supplies to go to the sports buildings, where people were crowded together in filthy, danerous, wretched conditions and many were dying.

Prior to the arrival of the military (delayed by the inaction of the governor) most rescues were effected by individual police officers and private individuals and groups acting independently of the city and state hierarchy.

While the military is continuing with its search and rescue operation, local authorities are reverting to police state tactics to forcibly move those who wish to stay in their homes (even those outside the flooded areas), render them unable to defend themselves and to keep those who had evacuated from returning to their homes and businesses.

As can be easily seen, government is acting to exacerbate the effects of the tragedy.

They've killed Freedom! Those bastards!

Warm regards,

Col. Hogan
Stalag California